Glimmers of Self Awareness

The desire for authenticity was a driving force in my life when I met the one I call Guru. He spoke well of spiritual truths from the ancient sacred texts, but that was not persuasive enough for me. My first question to him was, “If I follow your guidance, how can I know for myself that I am progressing. I don’t want to take your word for it. I want an independent gauge.”

He said, “You should see a difference in all your relationships. They should become more harmonious.” 

This appealed to me as it meant inner growth would be reflected in the outer experience. However I was not willing to give carte blanche to anyone, “I will follow as long as I see growth in myself.”

I knew the danger of intellectual knowing; I had met many spiritual teachers in the past who spoke knowledgeably of similar principles, but their manner with people revealed their true level of integration. I was looking for someone who lived what they said. I kept a close eye on him to see if all his actions were congruent with his words, if they were alive in him. 

In the ashram, one of the more attractive hours for me was 2:45pm, when guests and community visitors would gather for an hour of conversation. We discussed our attempts to live the spiritual principles shared in the early morning inspirational talk. The Guru was available at this time to answer questions and offer guidance. I watched him do this for years. It was always a spellbinding conversation that could feel timeless, touching us  in an ineffable way…

During one of my extended stays at the ashram, he called to say he was a bit delayed, so I was to start the conversation. He said, “Let the group centre with a few minutes in meditation, then ask everyone what theme they wish to discuss, and find consensus about the most needed topic for the day.” That did not seem too difficult. 

We gathered in our usual meeting spot. It was such a glorious day that one person suggested we meet outside under the beautiful bougainvillea bushes. There was quick and ready agreement from everyone, so I thought we were already in the mood of togetherness. I asked for a theme, looking to see what was suggested most often. Based on the responses, we settled on how wisdom came through the people around us, and how to distinguish it from selfish ego prompts.

When he arrived, the Guru asked seemingly random people what they wanted to talk about, and their answers were quite different to what they told me earlier! It was now challenging relationships in the space…conflicts with others about seva, not enough rest time and low vitality in meditation. There was an urgency behind the voices that indicated the genuine need. Everyone was attentive and engaged. There was an aliveness in the group now.

The answers he gave were important because what applied to one person might not apply to another. He showed in each case how to move from the individuated, struggling experience, to a spacious support-filled awareness. Were we managing our time? Could we work together more harmoniously from a space of collective wisdom, and therefore quicker and with less effort? That outer harmony meant sleep would be more restful and rejuvenating. Could we make better use of the gifts in the space?

In the sacred conversations, I would say that I was open to every suggestion, the choice was theirs. I tried to use the kind of language and style he used, yet when Guru came in, it was a different tune to what they had played earlier to me. It was deeply frustrating.

When I finally had a chance to buttonhole the Guru, I held onto his arm in case he walked off before I got my question answered. 

“What am I doing wrong? No matter how I ask, people tell me one thing and say something different to you. When they talk to you, they pour their heart out.” 

He said, “They tell you what they think you want to hear, not what they really feel.” 

I had many occasions to work with groups of spiritual seekers after that, yet the experience was largely unchanged. I went back to Guru to ask for more insight.

“They don’t trust you enough to say what’s really on their minds.”

That really cut me. But when I paused and thought about it, I realized that I too was not open to the same extent with everyone. I might say more to one friend than another. What made me more comfortable with one and not the other?

“How do I become more trustworthy?”

“It is a good question for you to contemplate.”

Thus far, I was trying to model what I saw in the way he conducted these sacred conversations, but that did not create the hoped for change. It had to be that people reacted to where the words were coming from. I was obviously not as accepting as I thought I was. Maybe there was some roughness in me, a close mindedness that I could not see that was pushing people away, making them feel guarded about their experiences. Did they not feel the space was theirs, to be as they wished? Was I dominating in some way, wanting to ‘fix’ them, spouting teachings I had not thoroughly brought into my life? It shook me to realize that it must be a pattern I would have displayed in other areas of my life, so it impacted all of my relationships. How many times had I unknowingly been callous with another? This thought made me cringe because here I was, doing the very thing I detested in spiritual teachers. 

How could I penetrate this fog that prevented me from seeing myself clearly? The days were so busy that there was not much free time. How could I use the schedule as it was to help me, rather than thinking the activities needed to change? Maybe I too needed to change my view of the schedule. Suppose it was designed specifically to deal with my dilemma! 

In meditation, I sought to discover the space from where I was speaking, acting, living… Where did the thoughts and emotions come from? I did not know how to find the negative vibrations I was emitting. I pulled one thought out, one emotion, had a close look… but I was not happy with this process. It felt dry. It was a desperate struggle. 

As I turned my attention to the chanting sessions, it was as if I disappeared into the sound. Where did the sound begin, where did it end? Such waves of harmonious song, accompanied by the soft, soothing, voice of the harmonium, with drums and majeera keeping the rhythm. 

With time, I dived more and more into the music and chanting, feeling my body swaying, clapping, singing. How is it that the lyrics could open me up to a wordless, freer place? “Light my light with your light… may I earn the Grace of awakening.” 

Could I listen in a group the same way that I listened to music? Could I view every person as an instrument of the sacredness and beauty of life?

Years passed and I was once again at the ashram. “Gurudev, what practical step can I take?” 

“Why don’t you write down the talks to make it easier for you to study and find your own answers?” It was a nod to my preference for independent learning.

After the talk, we excitedly gathered outside the meditation hall, sharing what caught our attention and in that way, we recapped the session. Other devoted souls took notes too, so we compared what we had written. One day someone suggested a more effective method.

“Why don’t we record the talk and transcribe it from the audio? Then we will catch every word.”

It took us all morning to prepare, but it was worth it as these transcripts were shared with the membership and formed the basis for our afternoon conversations. We no longer had to choose a topic. Now we were to elicit conversation about elements of the script.

When the Guru entered the group, he asked for a summary of how the conversation flowed thus far: who had spoken, what was said, who had not contributed anything and the efforts made to draw them out. He checked in with the group about the accuracy of the recounting. They could speak freely with the Guru present. This was helpful because now I had an immediate assessment of how well I had listened. In some instances I had not fully grasped the essence and significance of what someone said and they would be upset. It was not easy because they sometimes lashed out at me, and only in some cases was it warranted. I tried not to give too much attention to any reactions I had, while at the same time, not ignoring my feelings… a great balancing act that tipped one way and another. I thought at least they felt safe enough to move from an inarticulate morass of feeling to the release that comes from expression and feeling heard.

Whenever I misunderstood someone, misread their silence or did not fully recognize their feelings, in my quiet moments I tried to review what they had communicated beyond the words, so that I could be more sensitive and respectful. It was important to recognize the subtle cues because what might seem minor to me might be the tip of the iceberg… many hidden layers that I might be unaware of.

I celebrated with those who shared their triumphs because I knew what it took to make those inner strides, so their wave of joy carried me forward. 

I saw more clearly that I had greater affinity to some people, and tended to give more weight to what they said. At other times, I let details of someone’s story hinder a deeper connection with them. Good intentions in relationships were a starting point. Now the invitation was to enjoy a greater variety in ways of being, appreciating the nuances and rhythm of the music played by each personality. 

When I looked for it, commonality was obvious. Everyone is the same as me, we just express different aspects of the infinite spectrum at any given moment. I looked up at the masses of bougainvillea flowers. They had the answer all along, each vine expressing itself, with tiny, brightly coloured flowers artfully arranged among the green leaves, spiky thorns and all, forming a delightful canopy.

Seva offers Life Lessons

Right after our morning chant, around 6:30am, I was told that we were having a special visitor to the ashram, and my seva was to prepare their accommodation. I was to start immediately. The room was so tiny, bare and functional…only a single bed, a side table, and a chest of drawers. How could I make it special? 

I started by cleaning every surface area. I washed the ceiling, the walls, and cleaned and polished every bit of furniture. Was it clean enough? I did it again to make it extra clean.

Then onto the bathroom. I put detergent on every surface of the shower and in the toilet, and gave it time to work while I washed the room again. Three times would surely make it special.

I scrubbed the tiles in the shower, paying special attention to the grout, looking closely at the corners, taking a rag to polish the water fixtures. As I stepped out of the shower, I thought, why not do it all over again. Maybe I missed some spots. Sometimes when we are so close, we think it is clean, but there are still some little areas that could be cleaner. So I put the cleanser on again, and went to do the first clean of the toilet. I cleaned the toilet three times too. In between, I washed the windows and floors. Need I say ‘three times’ became natural?

I stood at the entrance looking in, feeling pleased with my work. The Guru came in with another seasoned member of our hospitality team. They examined everything and found a spot in the toilet. I was questioned about that spot. It felt like an interrogation! I had to get different types of cleaners and scrub again, as that spot had to be removed. 

While I waited for the cleaning agents to work, I cleaned the door and the area approaching the room.

The Guru returned with two more people to check on progress. We couldn’t all fit in the room at the same time. The Guru said the chest of drawers could smell better, maybe some essential oils would help? What about decor? Everyone gave their suggestions about linen, pictures for the wall… I continued the preparations with greater respect for those who work in the hospitality industry.

Oh wait, I forgot to clean the light fixture. I put some cleaner and new cloths in the bathroom in case our guest had any spills. Some fresh flowers for the side table, inspirational reading material, tissues, a little candle, matches, packs of incense…she could choose what she liked.

It was 7:15pm and the Guru and his entourage came for another inspection. The Guru sternly asked who had suggested that bedspread? It was tacky, the towels looked worn. Was that the best I could do? One of the ladies piped up, “I told her that and I made other suggestions.” Huh? When had she said that and why would I ignore her? Unexpectedly my heart opened and that initial burst of anger and desire to defend myself subsided . She had such a need to please the Guru that she was willing to throw me under the bus. I could understand how she felt. That drive for approval comes from a shadow place inside. I have places that I am seeking to light up. I would not dispute her claim, it would give me no satisfaction. Instead I focused my energy on getting the job done.

Where could I find replacements at this hour? The group pulled together bringing personal materials and the bed was remade. Then a final check and we turned off the lights.

Guru said, “don’t be late for Shiva Mahimna,” our last chant for the day, and walked briskly away. Twenty minutes for a shower, change, and head to the meditation hall. I could do it. 

“What do you think about your friend?” The Guru had come back without my noticing. 

“She is marvellous and very helpful.” I knew he was quite aware that there was some frisson of dissonance. I smiled broadly and walked off faster than him. I looked back to see him grinning.

Our guest was chatting with the Guru after the early Guru Gita chant the following morning, and he jovially called me over to meet her. She had come in the previous night. 

“I hope you slept well. Is there anything I can get you to make your stay more comfortable?”

“I bring everything I need with me. This is an ashram, not a hotel. I saw that the room was not cleaned. I know how busy you all are and there are never enough volunteers to do everything.”

“I’m sorry the room was not clean. I can come in and tidy up now.” Who knows what happened in the night! Had a bat gotten in and made a mess?

“Don’t worry about it. I cleaned it already. I’ll clean it again before I leave to save you the trouble.”

In the evening, I saw that she was leaving. I went to say goodbye.

“I hope you had a pleasant stay with us.”

“It was a disaster! This afternoon I went to my room to have a nap. When I woke up, the room was flooded. A broken pipe.” 

“Oh no!”

“I came to see the Guru and he is always wonderful. Nothing else matters.”

“Please visit us again soon. We’ll do our best to make it better next time.”

What was that all about? I had never cleaned so thoroughly before.That intense focus on the minutia as I cleaned seemed to bring my mind into a deep stillness that didn’t leave despite the physical tiredness. 

Could the outer cleaning be related to the process of internal cleaning? So many times I thought I had cleared an unhealthy pattern, only to discover remnants persisting, so this metaphor of cleaning three times is worth considering. Did my awareness of what is “clean” grow as a result of this experience? 

Despite every effort to give her a wonderful welcome, outside forces were at play. All is not in my control. The result is not mine to determine. I need to remember that a well thought out plan can still go awry. How can I deal with the unexpected? I need to learn to keep that peaceful, steady state so that I can meet with the ups and downs of life.

In my family, I was known for my fiery temper, always ready to enter the fray. So I had pledged to myself that I would find new ways of responding to challenging situations. I took feedback about the room during the preparations and later from the guest without my ego getting twisted up, and nary a sarcastic word slipped through. I deciphered the constructive criticism, acted on it to the best of my ability, and let the rest flow on without letting anything stick. I could spend a lot of time and effort wondering about other people’s motives, or I could let them be responsible for their actions. 

It was clear our visitor was not in the best inner space. The only one she had eyes for was the Guru. That could be a good thing too. Maybe that focus helped to lift her. The guest could not detect how much had gone into making her room pleasant for her. She focused so much on the mess she encountered she could not see anything pleasing in the room. When I enter a space or a team project, do I recognize the contributions of others to get it to the present stage or do I overlook or even disregard their efforts? My ego has the tendency to take ownership, that over emphasis on individuality blinds me to the collective energy that went into the creation of the project. Can I train myself to notice my place on the timeline with the awareness that I too will be passing it along to someone? Every event, idea or object has a past, present and future. But what remains constant in all this experiencing? The one who is observing it all. The one who is able to describe every event.

Introspection in Action

When I came home from school as a small child, I would get a riotous welcome from our dog. Our bird would fly to my shoulder and I would race with them to my room to change out of my school clothes. Then we would run around outside, expending all that cooped up energy from sitting all day in a classroom, finally collapsing in glee in the garden where we would look at the millipedes crawling amongst the fallen leaves, the geckos sunning themselves on the wall, the spiders spinning their webs, the insects and birds hovering among the flowers. I could breathe and relax feeling at peace with the world.

You can imagine my chagrin when the Guru told me “don’t encourage stray animals into the ashram.” What made him think I would do that? That week, my seva was to put the ashram garbage out for pick up. As I was lugging the garbage out, I noticed two tiny kittens at one of the neighbour’s houses. I averted my eyes. But on my way back, they snuck out and were on the road. I had to stop. Before I knew it, I was sitting on the side of the road and we had a delightful interlude. I eagerly volunteered to clean outside the ashram gates too. As soon as they saw me, they would come running to play. The neighbour would bring them over to me sometimes. They were growing rapidly, everyday a new development.

I was also responsible for opening the meditation hall. One evening I arrived extra early to open the doors and windows to allow the cool evening breeze in, setting up the space for six o’clock meditation. I went back outside to enjoy the fresh air for a moment. It had cooled down nicely. I stood outside gazing at the sea on the horizon. It all looked so peaceful. There was a white concrete bench and a small table outside the meditation hall next to where I stood.  

Unexpectedly the Guru came striding over and sat down, stretching his feet out and looking so relaxed and comfortable. I stayed standing looking out, not looking at him. We did not speak. It was a companionable silence. When I turned around, I saw the two kittens running over. They slipped through the ashram gates, struggled up the steps and scampered over. They jumped over the Guru’s legs, gnawed at his toes and were their adorable selves. He didn’t react in any way. I didn’t look him in the face.

I could see the next step would be them running into the meditation hall and all the possible trouble that could ensue. I scooped them up, took them to the neighbours and explained the situation. 

Was that all to it? As I thought about it some more, I could see how this seemingly innocent action of playing with those kittens tempted them to come into the ashram. My ego piped up, “But these kittens are not strays.” I knew full well it was about encouraging animals into the ashram who were not trained and would cause chaos. Once there, the kittens would run into the meditation hall, they would want to go into other areas and potentially create an issue that would remain long after I left the ashram, and others would have to deal with the inconvenience. My deep tendency to be drawn to animals prevented me from thinking through the consequences of my action, despite being warned about it. What other tendencies influence my decision making without my realizing it? How could I become more aware of what is driving me?

As I sat for meditation, I thought about the Guru’s posture. He was relaxed. Not engaged with the kittens, but not pushing them away either. It wasn’t that he didn’t like kittens, in this instance he chose not to encourage their presence. In another situation, I was sure he would play with them. Could that be a model for how to deal with thoughts and emotions? I engage with them in circumstances when it suits me and when it doesn’t suit me, I don’t feed them energy? I could better understand what neutral means, not like nor dislike.

Before, my concept of detachment was cold and clinical, which was unappealing to my nature. But now I see how I could stand back while being fully present. I could be vibrantly, warmly, peacefully alive…inwardly centred. What is the mechanism of engagement? I will use my sitting meditation to become familiar with this posture and eventually, I want to live from this place. Just that glimpse motivates me to explore within.

How does one stay inwardly centred in activity, in conversation with others, in the hustle and bustle of life, without becoming outwardly centred? 

My unexamined beliefs about societal norms also became noisome as I realized on another garbage collecting day. I was at the bottom of the hill with heavy bags, wondering how to get them up the hill to the pick up area. One of the guys further down the hill shouted up to me, “Do you need help?” 

“I can do it, no problem.” Good lord, why did I say that? I do need help. My inner rebellion at my body’s weakness and his clear greater physical strength was part of it. But a bigger part was the belief that it was perpetuating the helpless damsel trope. Did that mean I would have readily accepted help if it was offered by a female? Was I getting caught up in the form instead of focusing on the Divine Self within the person? I reminded myself that the Divine was neither male nor female, bodies are tools.  On the whole, I am not good at accepting help. I am happy to offer support to others, but I was not a gracious receiver. Whatever the reason, I found him to be irritating. Why couldn’t a nicer person offer help? 

Despite my response, he came to meet me. He told me off for letting my ego get in the way of completing the seva. I grudgingly admitted he was right. I had to really struggle with myself to find a pleasant tone to request his help. He rearranged some of the contents of the bags so I could carry two of them, and he hefted the remaining ones. I noticed he was not squeamish about garbage. He seemed neutral. Was I? Maybe I could learn a thing or two from him. Would I have persisted in offering help like he did? Would I focus on the bigger picture, the need to clear the space of garbage? Or would I be more embroiled in the drama of personalities? 

This time, I genuinely apologized and hugged him in gratitude. We started up the hill amicably chatting. Perhaps our laughter carried as others came to join us and help with the bags. By the time we got to the top, we had quite a group. 

There is the Guru. “Can I join the party? What gifts do we have here Santa?” Indeed I had black bags over my shoulders, black rubber boots, and old pants and shirt from the seva pile, so it did look like a Santa Claus costume. Was the Guru drawn by the energy of transformation? Or perhaps the collective, fun filled group working together? 

His presence made me think more deeply about what was happening. Was I taking my personal garbage out, my unhelpful ideas and beliefs? Could I use the love and support offered by all present? Was I working on myself with a joyful attitude, or was it plodding and burdensome like I was at the bottom of the hill? 

When I am stuck, there maybe help around, perhaps in a form I do not easily recognize or accept, but if I become more nonjudgmental, I will see more.

Today I was dressed in the garb of garbage collector. I had my concept of what the role was, but it was limited. “I” wore the costume and felt myself totally responsible for the task, but the whole group performed the role. There was usefulness in being dressed like that. Clothes can be a clearer signal of a role than words sometimes. Perhaps the costume attracted the attention from afar and hence help was forthcoming. Can I see the roles I play, how I put on costumes? Maybe I need to watch this tendency to think I alone am responsible for the role? These roles are all temporary and not “mine”…not even “me.” What is permanent about who I am?

The Guru in the Dining Room

In spiritual circles, we are often urged to keep a journal as it helps us to process our experiences. These are snippets from my journal when I was staying at the ashram of my Guru.

8:40am 

There he is, coming down the stairs of his apartment, and walking towards us as we eat our breakfast in the open air dining area. He is walking swiftly, purposefully, looking straight ahead, making no eye contact with anyone. Yet I am sure he is very aware of all of us. I feel he is more aware of us than we are aware of ourselves! I don’t like that, I want to be fully aware of myself. How do I know he is aware of himself? On what evidence do I base that conclusion?

Even though he did not use words or eye contact to interact with us, there was a ripple of energy moving through the area. This is a different type of conversation! If I keep my eyes focused on that white clothed presence for as long as he is visible, could that help me to centre more deeply inside, or am I becoming distracted by his physical form? Where am I centred right now? 

I breathe out slowly, deeply, quietly, relaxing in my chair, enjoying the texture of the food, the smells, the taste…the feeling of satiation. I close my eyes for a second, enjoying this moment of contentment. 

I gather up my dishes to wash, dry and put them away. I have a long seva list today. Like the Guru, can I walk, powerfully and purposefully into the day’s experience?

1:05pm

It is a very hot day. Just came out of the mid day meditation. It was not easy to stay alert, saw the tendency to fall asleep…let the mind wander…no exotic experiences, but I am happy as it was good to pause and clear the decks of the morning activities. We are chanting mantras for the Grace before meals, lining up for food and heading for the seating area. I choose a chair located at a different table from the morning. It is so easy to fall into a routine, wanting to sit with the same people or in the same chair every meal time. Is that how material attachment begins? Do I get stuck in routines without being aware of them? The Guru is here mingling, hugging one person, chatting with another. I can hear his laughter but cannot make out his words. Why is he here now? What makes him feel drawn to linger? It’s the weekend so the office is closed. I am on phone duty. He comes over to tell me of his availability so I know how to answer calls. Then he is off to his private quarters.

3:30pm

It’s the afternoon seva period. I am still on the phones. I decide I could clean the cupboards in the dining area in between calls. There is one tricky lower corner cupboard. My short arms can’t get to the furthest point. I twist myself every which way. Determinedly, I try to use a long spoon with a cloth wrapped around the handle. Ha! I got that far spot! As I pull myself out of the cupboard, I fall onto the floor. I am startled to see Gurudev stooped down, almost touching me. “Oh, how long have you been here? I didn’t notice you.” 

“I have been here for quite some time.”

I feel mortified thinking about all those twists, turns…oh no, was I talking to myself out loud? Maybe I was disturbing the peaceful space? But I feel so good about getting the cupboard cleaned that I will not think I did something inappropriate. Why was he here? How come he is not saying anything?

I looked at him in puzzlement, “This morning I noticed how without a word, just by walking past, you created a ripple of energy so strong that everyone in the dining room was aware of it. So how is it you could be so physically close to me for a long time and I did not know it? You were practically invisible, yet present.”

“Good observation. It is important to decide how you want to use your presence. Will it be expansive, co-creating a field of peace and harmony? Or will it almost disappear, allowing others to shine in the space? Or maybe a combination of both? There are many possibilities of consciously engaging.” Off he went, leaving me to wonder about my presence and how I have been blundering about, never once considering that I had a choice about my presence in a space.

5:45pm 

I am in the dorm, anticipating a shower before six o’clock meditation. The phone rings. I am tempted to ignore it. If it’s a long call, I won’t have enough time to shower. I answer it. It is the Guru. He asks where one of the male guests is at this moment. I am befuddled. “I assume all the men would be in the male dorm at this time,” I say.

“Are you sure he is there?”

How could I be sure I wondered? Why was Guru asking these questions of me? If he wanted to speak to that guest, why didn’t Guru call the male dorm? What is really his intention?

“Would you like me to call the male dorm and put you through to him Gurudev?” 

“You find him and let me know where he is.”

I call the male dorm. That guest is not there, no one knows where he is. I call every area of the ashram looking for him. No one knows where he is. I am frantic. What should I do? No one has any ideas. 

I take a deep breath. I will have to call back Guru. I tell him of my search. He only says, “Let me know when you find him,” then hangs up.

7:10pm 

The guest shows up as we are washing up after dinner. He had gone visiting with some people he knew outside the ashram, and never considered telling someone of his plans. At home he was unused to sharing his plans with anyone, he could act spontaneously so naturally he did the same here. The Guru warmly welcomes him. All’s well that ends well, right? No, the Guru tells me I was lax in my responsibility. Does he know who is present in the ashram at all times, even when he is in his room all day? Does that mean someone’s presence can be felt if one is sensitive? How could one develop such a sensitivity? What is my responsibility? Maybe a better question is what is not my responsibility?

9:00pm 

It’s the last evening chant and meditation of the day. We close up and tidy the meditation hall so it is all ready for the early morning program. My water bottle is empty, so I go to the dining room to fill up. There are others there with the same intention. I look around to see if anything requires attention while I await my turn. Someone turns off the lights and I am about to leave when I see the Guru. 

“How was your day Madhavi? What did you learn today? Are you happy with your progress?” 

I recap the day’s highlights. Only now do I realize how much I learned from the Guru today. Yet I don’t think we spent a full hour together. I am going to bed thinking about how he used very brief moments, maybe 5 -10 minutes with someone, and what a difference he made in many people’s lives today.  I can better see how his days are spent. He has the same 24 hours that I do. How am I using my time?

Relating to a Guru’s Teachings

I have had many great teachers in my life but there is only one I call Guru. He follows my cues, responding to the direction I want to go. I chose him to be my guide because I was inspired by how he lives his life. I respect his wisdom and the role he plays in my life, I honour what he shares with me by taking responsibility for my learning and growth. Together we craft our relationship. It evolves with my maturity. I don’t just think about my own enjoyment, I also think about how the Guru is experiencing his interactions with me. In my life’s work as a teacher, I know what a joy it can be to have a receptive, impassioned student, so that is what I strive to bring to the relationship.

I go to him when I feel stuck. When I go to him, I have a goal … no matter how fuzzy it is. His questions help me clarify that goal. He opens the field by his questioning, and I begin to see the relationship between my goal and my soul evolution. I love his questions because even if I don’t answer them in the moment that I am with him, they leave me thinking. “What did he mean when he said…? Why did he say…?” Most importantly, “how do I feel and think now about my goal?” I don’t get caught up in him. I constantly bring it back to me and my goal.

When I have any interaction with him, it is difficult sometimes for my mind to work. So as soon as I leave him, I write down as much as I can about the interaction… what was said, what did I feel then, what do I feel now? I then review the interaction from a multidimensional lens in my desire not to miss anything from the exchange. So I include areas like my vitality level, the experience of inner peace and confidence. If I don’t do this, then I might remember the high I felt in the conversation, but no lasting change occurs.

This initial high can be deceptive, as sometimes I imagine that I have already integrated the teachings into my being. Life’s challenges then reveal to me to what extent I processed the teachings …showing the gaps I have yet to fill.

In my mind, an interaction with the Guru does not mean the physical being. I include the way I encounter his teachings. Whether I watch a video, listen to an audio recording or read some text, my approach is the same. I start with me. I create an intention, focusing on some aspect of my being that I want to bring more wisdom and light to. Perhaps my intention is to discover how I can support the healing of some area of my body. Or sometimes I am caught in a negative pattern that I cannot fully understand, so it is more difficult to disentangle and change. 

My intention focuses and hones my attention. My mind is not all over the place. I am closely monitoring my inner world. Because I find so much richness, I am not able to process a great deal at a time, so I take a little bite… I take two or three lines that call to me and I stay with them, keeping my field open to any new understanding that might emerge. I consider it like an intimate conversation. It is as if there is a internal Guru who is talking to me. This practise deepens my ability to access my inner wisdom.

As I hold these few words in my inner space, I begin to notice subtle changes because of their presence. My “I” begins to feel different. I feel more light hearted. I notice how the uplift impacts the all of me. One of the most significant impacts is the feeling of optimism. Now this has occurred many times and I have observed the process, I know that this initial burst of energy has to be channelled into productive areas, or else it dissipates and eventually it feels dry. So I am on the alert. 

One of the ways that I “harness” this energy is in some form of discipline. I might probe my intellectual grasp of the actual words. I believe words and sounds carry an energetic pattern, so I might focus on the energy behind the words. Or I might let go of the words and focus on the energy generated by the words, and see where that takes me. Or I might explore the boundaries of peace and inner harmony that comes along with such inspirations.

My sitting meditation becomes more dynamic and interesting with this new focus. My exercise routine is also influenced, so the mix of yoga, tai chi, qigong, walking is decided based on the desire to hold on to the level of vitality that I get from that boost of energy. Often my relationship with other people changes as I begin to perceive them in a new light because of this experience of inspiration, so every relationship in my sphere, whether internal or external, is impacted. 

At the core of my intention or goal is a desire to change and grow. To fuel such a change, I have to recognize that opportunities abound for holding a disciplined inner space. I need to actively engage in whatever ways I choose. If I am alert enough, I spot the tentacles of growth in my consciousness. And I exalt every iota of that expansion.

Frequently the vision I had of the desired outcome that I started off with does not look like the change that happens in my life. It often far exceeds anything I could have imagined. So for me, this process works. 

Seek God Within

You do not need to give your power away to some God that you think is outside that you need to bargain with, to pray to, so that you may get a handout everyday. It is an illusion to think that God is some image or object that you need to pray to for all your needs. Praying is good, undoubtedly. But the God you are seeking is not in a picture, a book or in some heaven somewhere. That God is right inside of you. And that God does not need you to give your power away. That God needs you to open your heart and mind to its presence within you, that it may manifest its power in and through you. That God wants to empower you from within. Sri Vasudeva

Every Moment is an Opportunity

Sometimes we think that spiritual discipline is mainly when we chant or sing the holy names of the scriptures or when we sit down and repeat the sacred sounds. But it would be so nice if we were able to see that the whole world is a temple and that our spiritual discipline takes place in all of life. All our roles whatever they are, are divine roles given to us by the creator of life. How can we keep the awareness that spiritual discipline is everywhere? There is nothing that I do that I don’t see as part of my spiritual world. Eating, walking, moving, acting… I see it as all spiritual. Our spiritual discipline takes place in every action, every word that we speak, every interaction.  

When we leave our spiritual practice only for certain times and we become the ordinary self in the rest of the day, then we open ourself to the duality of this world, the ups and downs of this world. Why can’t we take our spirituality into everything? Why can’t we be more aware when we are speaking to someone that this is a spiritual activity, and we lift that person’s spirit by the way we speak, we share spirit.  

When we work, why can’t we think in terms of service. We are serving the Universe, whatever we’re doing, then work becomes worship. When you take every footstep, wherever it might be, can you see it as sacred earth, sacred ground? What is not sacred? Where is that place where God doesn’t exist? Everywhere is sacred. 

Fot more go to https://www.blue-star.org

Signs of Inner Alignment to the Infinite Wisdom

I want you to see the role of the ego. We may feel something coming up within us and it may well be from the ego and not the Divine within.

Can you differentiate between a message coming from Kuṇḍalinī, (the sacred energy) and one coming from the ego?

When it comes from Kuṇḍalinī, there is a rush of energy that lights up your space; it brings about a lift inside of you and a lift outside of you. You definitely know that it is Kuṇḍalinī because it expands your consciousness, and it brings more energy into your space, and more vitality and more drive that can meet any competition.

When it is coming from your ego, there is doubt, confusion, indecision. Sri Vasudeva

How to Stay Centred While on the Run

It is best to start the day with a sitting meditation. It connects us to our more expansive Source of being, it revitalizes our nervous system and primes us for the day ahead.

But what do we do if one morning we wake up too late or for whatever reason we were unable to do our sitting meditation? What options do we have? Is it too late, will our minds remain scattered, will we allow ourselves to feel dispirited?

On the run, no matter where we are, we can still connect with the Divine. We can pray, inviting the Divine into every activity, “You are with me today. I am driving, and you are with me. You are behind my hands as I drive. You are behind my eyes as I look.” In this way we can make that higher power very present through every experience of our day.

The idea is that we remember that “I need to stay connected”, then right then and there we find a way to do it because the consciousness is always with us. The source of love and power and positivity and vitality is always with us so at any time we can call upon it.

If we are in conversation, we can open our space because we want to experience that person in a space of peace, we want to experience that person in a space of love, we want to experience intuition as we talk to each other.

In anything that we are doing we can open up our consciousness a little more to realize that the Self is there with us, the expansiveness of being is there with us, the source of all power is there with us. Where is it that this power is not?

Let us stay connected to the Divine in every activity today.

Let Us Meet In the Inner Space

Let us meet in the inner space. Minds need to be quiet and attentive, lovingly attentive. Hearts need to be open and loving. Let us meet in the heart space, where true love for each other is there. Let us meet in the mind space where attention is given to the presence of each other and to the peace that the soul can share in the space of the Universal mind, the collective mind. If we can meet there, as we are doing now, we can experience the soul’s timelessness. Sri Vasudeva

Believe only That which is True to You

Do not let your “I” be compromised at any time by believing that which is not true to you; that which you have not yet experienced. Do not be a believer, do not go trusting. You do not need to give your power away to a belief. You do not need to give your power away to another ego in the space, Guru or whoever it is. Do not give your power away to anyone. You are the centre of the Universe. The Supreme Guru is within you. The Supreme Power is within you. Why do you belittle yourself? Why do you become attached to things outside of you and then develop a lot of expectations?

I need to explain this because the Divine is also acting outside of us. Whenever the tendency is there to believe something, what you need to believe is that it is a possibility to explore. And what are you going to trust? You are going to trust that when you explore, there is the possibility that you will experience. So you are trusting in the process that you are going to undergo. Let it be very clear; do not give your power away, because you are giving your power away. “Oh, I believe this one, it has to be true.” No, no, no, because when you give your power away, you become a slave. The Universe is not asking you to give your power away; the Universe is saying, “Stay in your authentic Self, stay where you are, stay with what you know to be true and explore.” If something seems like a possibility, go after it fearlessly. The Universe will continue to guide you, within and without. Sri Vasudeva

How to Stay Connected to the Infinite

Do you know what it means to say ‘Om Namah Shivaya’? You are telling the Universe, ‘I am holding You in my awareness and I am humbled by you.’ It says I bow to You. What does ‘I bow to You’ mean? It means I recognize Your greatness, I recognize my littleness and I want to be humble towards You. In essence I want to be guided by You, I want to be protected by You, I want to be nourished by You, I want to be comforted by You. It is honouring the Divine in the most powerful way. How can you forget that in any moment?

When you eat think, ‘Where did this food comes from?’ ‘Om Namah Shivaya’, ‘Om Namah Shivaya’. When you get your pay packet, think, ‘What grace it is to have this job, to serve in whatever way I did and look how the Universe has given this to me’, ‘Om Namah Shivaya’. When you are walking and your limbs are strong, think ‘Thank God for this health that I have’, ‘Om Namah Shivaya’. ‘It is You who beat my heart, it is You who see what I don’t see in this body because many things are happening in there. I pray, I humble myself that You will protect me and guide me when I don’t see.’ That is ‘Om Namah Shivaya’.

If you have this awareness, in which moment ‘Om Namah Shivaya’ is not relevant? In which moment! Even if the mind doesn’t say it, the consciousness should have that quality of humility. Even if you don’t say ‘Om Namah Shivaya’, or any other mantra, but your consciousness should be able to see the Divinity everywhere, the greatness of the Supreme in everything and be humble. Be humble! That is how I feel towards my Universe.

I make no decision without employing the wisdom of the Supreme. ‘Grant me the fullness of vision that I may see, that I may make the best decision for everyone, always.’ It is not about me. It is about what the Universe wants of me. That is ‘Om Namah Shivaya’. Whether I sing it or say it, that is how I am feeling. My Universe is protecting me. I am recognizing my Universe. It is guiding me. It is supporting me. It is comforting me. And I give thanks and I am humble, ‘Om Namah Shivaya’.  Sri Vasudeva

How do you Guard Against Negative Energy?

How do you guard yourself against negative energy? Negative energy is a reality of daily life. We are faced with it every day. You go to the office and people are in conflict with you, in your home you can be in conflict with your spouse or children. When you live with someone you disagree about so many things. We live with challenges every day.

It requires staying in the awareness of what’s happening in the moment. The most powerful thing is when you can stay in your space of freedom, because each time you fall into the trap of getting involved in a conflict you lose your power.

You need to be very careful when you come into a different energy space not to fall into the trap of doing what is expected. That has to be a practice. The first practice is self-awareness: “What is happening here? Why am I falling into this temptation again and again and again? Why am I weak towards the situation?” You need to reflect upon that and see, “What is the cause?” and begin to work on that.

You need to take yourself into the Observer to analyze the whole event and begin to contemplate ways of responding differently, of not falling into the trap. That happens the more you tell yourself, “I’m going to see more before the event happens. I’m going to do this differently.” In your mind, contemplate how you’re going to deal with the situation or person differently: “Today I’m not going to let this person interfere with my energies, no matter what they say to me. I’m going to hold myself in my space.” Repeat your affirmations, or hold yourself in the awareness that, “I’m not going to let it happen” And in that way you’re going to protect yourself. The moment you decide that, “I’m going to be different,” and you contemplate the different way of behaving or responding, you’re coming into your own power. Sri Vasudeva

What Relationship are You in With the Divine?

If we have no relationship with the great power inside, then life is going to become very difficult, because the ego is on its own journey. How many times do you remember that you are divinely driven during the day? Or are you completely on your own? Are you in a relationship with the Divine and how deep is that relationship? That is the question today. Is it a relationship of separation, that you have to pray to this Divine outside of you? Is it an internal relationship where you feel that you are working with the Divine? Is it a relationship where you feel that it is the Divine that is working in and through you; that you can lay back and let the Divine work with you; or you can act totally in the Divine, feeling that the Divine is doing it and not you? What relationship do you want with the Divine? Sri Vasudeva

Let Love Lead Today

Open up to a new day. Welcome the elements within you. Welcome them outside. The sun as fire, the air around you, the water in Nature, the earth. Extend the consciousness to the elements in space. Let your being be in romance with the space, the elements within you and the elements around you. The Beloved of life, the Divine Beloved is inside and also on the outside of you in Nature. She parades in Nature. In every living being and in inanimate objects, She moves.

I centre my individual consciousness in the source of my being – that limitless, boundless, changeless consciousness. I seek to stay there in that relationship, in that alignment, so that my every thought in this day, my every word in this day, my every intention in this day, my every action, may be filled with love, saturated with love, and be a blessing to my world. I seek to be an instrument of the Light. I pray that Your love will flow unconditionally through every part of my being, as I become more and more worthy and receptive of Your love. I bow to You, O Supreme Love!

I am blessed, I am grateful for Your existence within me. I am nothing; You are everything. Individuality is only an illusion; You are at the centre of everything. I bow to You.

Om Prem Prem Prem – Om Love Love Love

Sri Vasudeva

Discover the Fullness of Possibilities

That centre of conscious being is all powerful; it is connected to the essence of the Universe. Do not belittle yourself that you are a physical being. You are having a physical experience but you are not a physical being. Your Being-ness is Divine, immortal, imperishable. 

Clear the mind of thoughts that limit your consciousness. You clear the thoughts by observing them remotely. Thoughts are your creations – do not give your power away to them. Observe them, detach from them, and stay centered in silence; the all-powerful silence. Silence is not emptiness – it is fullness of possibilities. Sri Vasudeva

Are we Happy with the Road we are On?

Namaskar Everyone

I got a lot of private messages saying that some of you did not understand the story that I posted yesterday. I’m sure there are many perspectives on it, I’ll explain how I see it.

The story talks about someone who is in a forest, encounters a tiger and seeks to escape from the danger by running away and ends up falling off a cliff. At the bottom of the cliff are serpents. Could you imagine a more challenging life circumstance? In your life have you ever been in a difficult situation? Have your ever tried running away and the situation became more complicated? Does it ever feel that no matter where you turn there is challenge? The person in the story is in such a situation but as he falls off the cliff he notices a vine with some wonderful sweet fruits and he spends all his efforts trying to grasp the fruits. In the midst of his challenge he is focused on the pleasure of the senses, in this case he is motivated by how he anticipates the fruits will taste, and how much he will enjoying eating those fruits. He is so caught up in his efforts to have the fruits he pays no attention to the danger of the serpents that he is about to encounter.

Sri Vasudeva then invites us to reflect on our lives. Are we caught up in the pleasure of the senses? Have we ever noticed when we are caught, how fleeting that experience is? The pleasure never lasts, pain is always around the corner just like the person in the story.

Sometimes in the midst of pain we start to seek another way of being, we realize that we are disconnected from our Source, we feel we cannot access wisdom, peace, love, and we feel burnt out, then we begin to seek that connection. Once we start to seek that light we find some glimmer and even the smallest connection rejuvenates us. But we become easily distracted and become caught up in the senses once more and inevitably land up in pain and suffering. We might remember that glimmer we once experienced and we begin to long for it and start seeking the light. But once we are refreshed, we can fall back in the trap of the senses.

So the cycle of pain and misery continues unless we see the choices we make that take us along that path. Maybe we might then realize we need to take another road. Eventually we might become curious about how we can sharpen our choice maker and what we can do to stay in the light.

I hope there is more clarity for you about the story and I wish you a very peace filled Sunday.

luv

madhavi

How Free are We from the Sensory Cycle?

There is a story of someone who is running in the forest, and suddenly finds himself on a cliff. He is going over the cliff but there is a branch, so he holds the branch. Down the cliff there are serpents waiting, and a tiger is chasing him – that is why he fell off the cliff and is hanging on to the branch. Whilst he is there in those moments, he sees a vine with some wonderful fruits. So forgetting about the tiger who is coming and the serpents below, and trying to grab onto the little pleasure that is there, he grasps for the fruits.

That is how some of us are; we try to eke out every bit of pleasure in the journey, knowing that pain is also going to come, but we stay with the pleasure. Some of us really do not like the pain and we search for something different, so we want to look for the true Source of command. 

Every now and then we go up to the Source and we see some clearing there, some light, we begin to feel a little better. Then when we are a little bit refreshed, we turn the chariot around and head down the road again; a little refreshed, we want to go back into sensory delight. Then pain comes again, and we begin to look for the road, “Where is that road again?” We go up the road to the Source and go just a little further, we feel a little more refreshed, but we head down the road of sensory delight again, never really learning. We are so caught up in the senses,  the pleasure consciousness and the power we feel, and every time we get a really strong dose of pain and suffering, we head slowly back up and we journey a little further to the Source. But every time we go a little further, we get some new power, some renewal, and we head down to the sensory delight again. Sri Vasudeva

What is Sādhana?

What does self-discipline mean? Does it mean to impose some kind of strict sādhana so that we stop speaking, we stop eating, we sleep on hard floors, we punish the body?  True Sādhana means being mindful in every moment of all that is happening in your inner space and continuously striving to let the light grow within your being, not the darkness. You know very well the tamas, (inertia, darkness ignorance)  you know very well the rajas – that activity that brings us out of the tamas. It can be chanting, it can be meditation, it can be seva, or community work, all of these help to bring us out of the tamas. And we know the sattva; it creates harmony, light, peace, contentment, kindness, charity – we know it very well. 

We know the tamasic (destructive) quality across nature  that comes from the ignorance. But there is destruction that comes from sattva; when you destroy things that limit you and that destruction allows for the birth of new things and opening up to new spaces, that is sattva in the tamasic mode. We need sattva in the tamasic mode to destroy, to empty, to cleanse. And we need sattva in the rajasic mode to do, to become active. Do not fail to do because some of us, when we are in the tamas and we think that we can just go straight to the sattva, we end up sleeping in the meditation. We end up eating all the foods and then meditating. We like to meditate after we have had our stomach filled, then we feel the pleasure of meditating; we can snore as much as we want. That is when we try to bring sattva into tamas, leaving out the rajas. We need to become active, we need to do things. Sri Vasudeva

Have A Stress Free Day!

Learn how to change your point of view quickly so there is no stress… Sri Vasudeva

Observe Consciousness and Energy in Meditation

Let us centre in conscious being. We are conscious beings. Let us stay centered in that awareness of conscious ‘being’, keeping that space clear as much as we can. That is the centre of your existence; ‘conscious being’.

And that centre of conscious being is a centre of an energy experience. You are having an energy experience in that consciousness centre. Begin to observe the qualities of both. Consciousness is not energy; consciousness is awareness of Self, awareness of being. Energy is the experience of the body. Energy is an experience of a thought. Energy is an experience of an emotion. Energy is the experience of an intention. Let it be very clear in your consciousness what energy is. Sri Vasudeva

 

 

How to Stay Empowered

We all want to feel loved, but the purest of love is coming from the deepest place in us.  There is a child inside us: one that wants to be cuddled; one that wants to be nursed; one that wants to be protected; one that wants to be nourished.

But there is also the nourisher inside of us. So where do we want to stay? In the powerlessness of the child? Or in the power of the one who is nourishing? Sri Vasudeva

The Joy of a Transparent Ego

When the ego becomes completely transparent on its journey, so that only the Self is shining through it, you lose ‘you,’ the ‘I’ becomes annihilated. You lose ‘you’ in the sense that the potency or the selfish nature of the ego is destroyed, and the Self shines in and through the ego as an instrument. Ego loses its sense of individuality, as it comes into a consciousness of being an instrument. It is not powerless by giving up its selfish existence, its individuality; it becomes supremely empowered by allowing itself to be an instrument. That has tremendous possibilities; the power of being an instrument and the joy of being an instrument, as opposed to individual and selfish thinking. Sri Vasudeva

 

Greet the Day as an Instrument of True Love

Yesterday when I spoke about love and its beauty, everybody was having the best day. Today, we may realize that our white sheet has some dark spots, how excited are we about the cleansing? “Wow, I want to know these dark spots really carefully. I want to clean every one of them, because my sheet cannot be fully white and clean if I do not give attention to the dark spots.” When you look at the whiteness of the sheet, because it is dominant, the dark spots look so big, distasteful. Can we begin to see the dark spots in us? It requires really sober thinking. It requires us to detach and take a remote view and really observe from a bigger space, otherwise we do not see it; we become blind. We do not see those dark spots. We think it is all white but the dark spots are there, so it requires very keen observation. To be the ultimate lover, you need to see those dark spots. 

Does attachment and unfulfilled desires drive anywhere within your soul, so that you are attached to comfort, to recognition, to pleasure, to power, and when unfulfilled, you become frustrated and angry and want to dominate even more or manipulate even more or exploit even more? Do we do it even subtly? 

There is going to be pain in the transformation of the ego, but it is sweet pain for the seeker of true love.

Cleanse me. Cleanse me. Purify me. Nothing is too difficult, take every stain away from me.

I centre myself in the source of all love within me. My soul knows true love. I seek to be an instrument of perfect love. I am open for every cleansing action, every kriyā that may enter my space as I surrender to the evolutionary power of the Universe, that is seeking to manifest within me, so that I may be an instrument of true love. Sri Vasudeva

Be Lifted in Love Today

May you be lifted in love today. May the mind be illumined with love. May your every breath be a breath of love. May your every footstep be a step of love. May your hands hold and hug with the power of love. May everything your hand touches be blessed with love. May you love today, differently to how you have ever loved, knowing that love is sacred, love is divine. Sri Vasudeva

Catch that Experience of the Quantum Space

Observe the physical experience of being. Observe the human body and the experience of the human body in the consciousness space – weight, gravity, heat, movement of fluids, taste in the mouth. Observe the human experience. The goal would be to observe in a pure way, no judgement, no labelling, moving away from conditioning.

If you observe carefully, there is an experience of lightness of being. There is an energy experience in there that we do not see if we do not focus beyond the humanity, beyond the physicality. Observe and see if you can catch that experience of the quantum space, the energy space, the subtle energy space. Mind is subtle energy; mind moves in waves. Emotions are subtle energy; they move in waves. The vital energy that moves the core of the body, that feeling of vitality, that experience of vitality; it moves in waves. Your intent generates waves; the intention of being loving, being peaceful, being vital; they are waves that permeate the physical, so learn to observe.

Breath moves because of a wave of energy; it is called a vāyu, prāṇa vayu and apāna vāyu. So breathe out and breathe in, observing the movement of the breath. There is an energy experience behind the physical movement of the breath, so sharpen your observing skills.

Sri Vasudeva

 

Observation can Create an Inner Shift

To observe means to look carefully at a particular object.. There is an observing consciousness, but the one that is observing can shift its centre of observation, its centre of viewing, its centre of experiencing can shift. The quality of the observing shifts, but the observer and the observing remain.

The one who is observing can become more detached in the observation and more and more centred in a Divine Space. That brings a big transformation in the one who is observing. The quality of the consciousness of the observer changes, not the observer, not the observing, not the observed,  but the quality of the one who is looking. By that I mean the ego is the one who observes so the quality of the ego changes; the quality of this ‘’I’’, of this observer is changing. Sri Vasudeva

For more read here.

How to Find the Pure Observer

Are we ready for a shift? Can we entertain the possibility that the Observer within us can move away from its selfish existence? Can we begin to be that pure Observer that detaches and observes the conditioned ego at play and how the Observer creates its realities through this ego consciousness that we experience? Can we, observing that, make a shift in the Observer to pure observation? In making that shift, we need support; that is why I had to find a Master. So the Observer is essential to this enlightenment experience.

Patanjali, the great master of yoga, said that when we can still the energy waves or vrittis in the consciousness, then we will have a chance to experience the pure Observer. He calls it tada drashtuh svarupe avasthanam. He says when we still these ego waves in the consciousness, yogash chitta vritti nirodhah. In the chitta, the consciousness, if we still the waves, the vrittis, we get a chance for the drashtuh, the Observer, to observe in a pure way, to stand in the glory of its own light. That is the way to the enlightenment experience. It is possible for all of us.  (Patanjali Yoga Sutras Ch 1 V1.2-1.3)

Excerpt from Day 1 of the 40 days retreat 2018 with Sri Vasudeva,  for more go to https://www.blue-star.org

Humbly Acknowledge that Great Power Inside

Observe that Self inside of you that you are trying to uncover, trying to know fully and to unite with. It is just behind your thoughts. It is behind your emotions. It is behind your vitality. It is right there. It is quiet, silent. It is ever loving. It is holding you, even when you do not know it. Sri Vasudeva

Let Your Love Flow

Lengthen the breath so that you may draw more prāṇa (subtle energy behind the breath) in. Give attention to the gut as you fill it with loving energy,  and the heart as you open up the love, generating it. Love is also balm for the mind. So you experience love as the healer, the nurturing power.

Breathe deeply into the third eye using the power of the heart so that you may feel that your heart is in the brain, coupled powerfully with it. Let your heart transmit energy to the cranial brain. Love brings gentleness, patience, grace. Observe the beauty it creates in the landscape of life. The mind becomes more nourished as love saturates it. Love is a great pacifier to the mind.

Now if you find that there are limiting patterns of emotion in you, so that a little difficulty is there, just hold it lovingly. Like water flowing around a rock, it can slowly erode the rock whilst holding the rock. If you find patterns there that are limiting, blocking, use your intellect and surround it with love.

And use love as a communicator with the space around you. It is the very powerful language of the heart. Let love flow through your every limb, through the entire body so that it creates a presence and it fills the entire space around you. It colours every mental pattern, every vision you have. Let it flow, let it colour, let it light up. It becomes a fire burning brightly, sustained by your attention and intention.  Sri Vasudeva

How to Honour the Heart

Open the palms of the hands as the energy of the heart is related to touch, and through the intention of loving, prāṇa flows though the emotion, coming to the hands, flowing to the body, flowing to the brain. Observe what is passion and feeling and its power. It is with those same hands we touch and hold and hug with the warmth of the heart. Observe the skin. Skin becomes energized it is the organ of touch, just hold this awareness.

Power of an open heart

Stay in the present moment. You are experiencing the power of the open heart. With every out-breath, breathe away any limitation you may be experiencing in the heart and with every in-breath, open up the space of the heart. No matter what you experience there, accept it. But seek to bring light in there and lightness of being.

Observe how light you feel. Observe how more complete you feel as a being in the human experience. Observe how more together you feel. Observe how the mind becomes quiet in the joy of the heart. Observe how more into being you become. Honour the power of the heart. You can see how heart that is held by the mind in an open space of being, nourishes, sustains, nurtures.

Breathe…it is the flow of life.

The Possibility of an Enlightenment Experience

Modern physics has the idea that the essence of existence is undifferentiated, but the Observer is what creates the reality. The moment it observes, it begins to change and creates its own reality from the undifferentiated source or matrix of existence. So the Observer within us is where we need to be centered, and to shift that Observer from creating these realities and notions, to a place of pure observing. And that is when we have a chance to experience that radical shift in consciousness, where the Observer begins to not be caught in the ego identities, but moves into a space of pure observation. Then we have a chance to experience the enlightenment experience. Sri Vasudeva

What are your Intentions?

Sri Vasudeva: During the 40 Days of 1978 my intentions were and have always been to get to the highest state of consciousness.   During those days of 1978 I was so focused on reaching the highest point inside of me, to recognize the grace that surrounded me and to do only what the Universe wanted of me.  Those were my goals.  I wanted to follow to the letter, all the instructions I was given, and I did.  They were 40 Days of tremendous transformation.

I wish the same blessings for you.  I do believe that this period is extremely sacred and is supported by so many heavenly beings.  I know that if you create the right intentions that they will be fulfilled for you.  And even if you don’t create the right intentions, the wisdom will come to change them.  That is how blessed this period is.  So enjoy these days.  We begin the first day of our 40 Days tomorrow morning.

You can register and find out more information at the bluestar website.

The Power of One Thought

“I have faith that in every day and in every way, my Universe is taking care of me.” When you begin your day with that thought and you keep that thought throughout your day, you will be amazed how your Universe will respond.

 Just a single thought in your mind, without doubt, because doubt is like the rubber that steals your energy away. No doubt. You learn to have no doubts when you are around positive people. If you are around positive people, you pick up their spirit and you lose the fear. Just one thought in the mind continuously. That sort of mental training is important. One thought in mind- continuously, continuously, continuously.

 Why do you need so many thoughts in your day? You can have a household that is cluttered with all kind of things that you like to keep, but you do not need. And the moment you clean up the house and give away everything that you do not need, see how light it feels? Or the same in an office, when you have all the information around you and you do not need them, you clear them up, you put the things that you do not need away and you deal with only the things you need right away. See what happens? You are more organized and more energised.

 It is same with the mind; you do not need so many thoughts. That is inefficiency if you need so many thoughts for all the actions you do every day. Just use the thoughts that are necessary and you will see what happens to you. You become more powerful.

You have a number of unimportant thoughts in your mind every day, plenty of thoughts! Do you really need all of that? Do you? I doubt it. So, clear up the clutter of the mind, fewer thoughts are better and one thought continuously in the mind when the mind is idle is a good thing. Let us practice keeping one thought in the mind. Sri Vasudeva

Living the Way of the Enlightened

You are invited to participate in 40 days of retreat starting March 25th, led by Sri Vasudeva. We have been exploring his teachings so you already know who he is. The theme of these 40 days will be “Living the Way of the Enlightened.” You can listen to free meditations and talks in preparation for these days on sound cloud.

You can register here.

On the night of March 25th there will be a satsang at 6:00pm EST to launch us into the 40 days. Sri Vasudeva will introduce the theme, and a little about how he will explore it in the days ahead. Plus I think he will share in satsang, some of his experiences during the 40 days of 1978 when he entered the start of an amazing experience which left him in a state of inner freedom and bliss. There will also be powerful chanting which can be an entry way into the sacred space within. You can read more about his personal story and learn how to prepare for the retreat here.

On March 26th and every day until May 4th, we start the day with a beautiful Sanskrit chant called the Guru Gita at 5:15 am EST, which is a hymn talking about the role of the outer spiritual guide and the waking up of our inner guide. Even if you don’t know the song, the vibration of the chanting can awaken subtle energies.

Then there will be an inspirational talk and guided meditation at 6:15 am where he will give details about the self transformation process. Transcripts of this talk and meditation will be available on Sri Vasudeva’s organization www.blue-star.org

Then there is a silent meditation from noon till 12:30pm. There is another silent half hour meditation at 6:00pm. While these will not be streamed I am telling you about it so that you can tune in, if only for a moment, by simply thinking about it and taking a pause in your day.

At 3:00pm there is the opportunity to join in Sacred Conversation as the morning talk and meditation is discussed and practical tips are shared on how these spiritual concepts can be implemented in daily life. You can have your questions answered too by sending them in via the contact info on the Blue Star website.

We end the day with a Sanskrit evening chant at 8:00 pm called the Shiva Mahimna Stotram and the Shiv Manas puja ending with a silent meditation. The beauty of the Sanskrit is the effect on the chakras.

Lets participate in some or all of the spiritual discipline during these 40 days, as together we make strides on our spiritual journey.

Look Around With Fresh Eyes

Today just a word to you about the Grace of the Universe in supporting us on the journey. Many times we isolate ourselves from that grace. We shut ourselves from that grace because we are so caught in the idea of wanting to do things ourselves which, of course, is not a bad idea but the Universe is so full of support at every turn. When the Universe gives so much support, why should we isolate ourselves from it?  When wisdom can flow from every voice, why do we avoid relationships of support?  When there is an invisible dimension of sacred beings supporting our world, why don’t we open ourselves to it?  When there are so many books and literature about the path to freedom, why don’t we use the information from them, rather than keep on reading them, and seeking to read more?

I do believe that we need only a few principles to live by, just a few.  But what is more important is putting them into practice so that we can develop our own experience; not the reading of so much.  During my own journey the only kind of reading that inspired me was the lives of great Masters – those who have made the journey. That is what inspired me. I did not want to hear the core teachings over and over.  I had no interest in that. An application of the teachings was more important to me.  How do I apply the teachings into practice?

The entire world became my learning ground, and that was exciting to me. Every person became a messenger to me, and I could see my Universe supporting me at every turn. Everybody brought me a message and I learned to see that message. I denied nobody the right to be in my space.  If you came into my space, I looked for the reason. Until this day I do the same. No matter how free I am in my inner being, I seek to listen to the voices around me, more so because I serve them.  I honour them, and they are the Divine to me. Sri Vasudeva

How Does your Space Support You?

When you create an intention it needs to lift you, it must take you to another level. And you should look to see how you can use the space around you to support your intention. “How does my intention connect with the space around me? How can it support my intention?”

And if you want to develop certain qualities or change certain qualities then you need to think: how can the space around me help to support that? How can we co-create these same qualities not just in me, but in the space around me? Sri Vasudeva

The Specialness of Today

Can you see that the role that you have in your lifetime was specially selected for you, and the Divine is holding your hand in the Play and is just behind you? Can you feel worthy and special, however it is? Can you meet life seeing every situation as a Divine orchestration that you accept willingly, and hold the hands of the Divine as you meet with it? Can you do that? That makes every day special. Sri Vasudeva

How to have Strength & Faith

My strength and faith is that the Divine is with me and behind me, so I do not carry any burden. Immediately a task is before me, I hold on to the Divine; “This is what You want me to do. You are sending this person to me today. You are sending this challenging situation, but I know that You are going to solve it. You are going to give me all the answers that are required.” So a little excitement comes in there however the situation may be. And when I meet the person, I begin to see why they came. I begin to see why I am needed in the play, and everything that is required unfolds. So it is never a burden for me, absolutely never. The meaning becomes very obvious, the solutions are there, and then I feel grateful for being an instrument in the play, that the Divine would choose me. Sri Vasudeva

Accept Every Page in the Book of Life

Every day presents a new page in the book of life. You never know how the day is going to feature. You may have an idea, but it may not turn out exactly as you want it to be. It may be better or it may be challenging, not as you expect it to be, but it is a new day.

However my day features, I know it is a day that was prepared for me by the Universe, so I am in absolutely no conflict with my day. However challenging it may be, however rewarding it may be, it is a day that was prepared for me in the book of life, and it is all based on karmas. Sri Vasudeva

First Steps in Mind Training

I see many people having greater control over their pets than their minds. For example they invest time training their beloved dog, so eventually when they tell their dog, “sit” the dog sits immediately and remains sitting until the next command.

In order to gain better control over our minds we too need to invest time in the training. That training works best if we start with a simple request, “mind focus only on this one thought”. Every time the mind runs away with a distracting thought, gently bring it back to the thought of choice.

How about if we choose a training thought that will give power to the mind while it is being repeated? A two for one deal. 🙂 A thought that can remind us of our true nature like, “I am divine.” Or we can choose an ancient Sanskrit mantra, so we get an additional freebie, we get the benefit of the energy that has been invested in that mantra by its countless repetitions over the ages. We can choose one like “Om namah shivaya”, I bow to that universal consciousness. Or we can use soham, “I am that”.  Choose something from your tradition that creates an inner response. Let that inner prompt help in the choice of the mantra.

Now  we start our day with this training. Settling in so that the body is comfortable. Just like we need to pay attention while dog training, so too we need to look to see how the mind is doing as it repeats its mantra. We need to closely observe our mind.

After a while when the mind starts getting it 🙂 we can go deeper. Listen to the mind repeat the mantra. Later we can combine the mantra with the breath. When mind is more advanced we can listen to the reverberations in the mind after each repetition. Then follow the silence as the sound subsides. Repeat the mantra once more and observe the vibrations, like the way a string when plucked, vibrates for a while before becoming still.

I find it very helpful to repeat the mantra as often as possible during the day. Especially if I am busy. Once I create such an intention I discover many idle moments when the mantra can be repeated. It is in such idleness the mind loses it’s energy. Shall we engage in some mind training today?

First Step In Meditation

At the start of any meditation, the first step is to quiet the mind. We do that by bringing the attention into the present moment. We let go of thoughts, giving attention to the silence in the consciousness space. Then we notice the consequence of that choice by observing the peacefulness in the mind when thoughts disappear. This step awakens us to our potential power – the power to think, to will, to feel, and to influence the body.           Sri Vasudeva

Opening the Floodgates of our Heart

Do we challenge ourselves to embrace another into our world? Or do we allow fear to push us into contraction? Do we have criteria that has to be satisfied before we will allow our love to flow? Is our love a commodity up for trade? “If and only if you approach me with this kind of attitude, if you say these kinds of words, if you perform these actions  will I love you, if you don’t I won’t love you.” Don’t we long for another way?

Whenever we are together with others, whether they be family, colleagues or community members, we often experience irritation or impatience as we discover the limits of our love. We are invited into a more expansive inner space but we often misunderstand this prompt and become sucked into a blame game.

We’ve been talking about centers of intention. There is a powerful plexus of love that is located in the chest area. It is not physical but it certainly influences the physical organs and tissues in the region. It is like a vortex of energy. By tapping into this center we can connect with an ocean of love, a place of unconditional loving, no contracts. Our essential nature is love. We are all connected in that Source of infinite love. We are one in spirit. The Divine resides in all of us, freedom from emotional burdens of anger and depression lies in recognizing that.

I am reminded of the beautiful song by Parmahansa Yogananda:

Door of my heart

Open wide I keep for Thee

Wilt Thou come, wilt Thou come?

Just for once come to me

Will my days fly away without seeing thee my Lord?

Night and day, night and day

I wait for thee night and day

Door of my heart open wide I keep for Thee

Lets us breathe in the love of the universe and breath out, opening the floodgates of our heart, sharing our love with our world.

How to Power Up your Intentions

Sometimes we set intentions and we are not able to follow through with them. For the past two days we discovered that we have the power to intensify our intentions. We did a practise sending a thought of love and energizing it from every energy centre in our being.

Today lets pause a moment and choose a personal intention we would like to energize. Maybe you set some new years resolutions but found it hard to follow through with them. Let us choose one of those intentions and do the practise. That way we can test how effective this process is.

We know where to find the centres of intention; at the base of the spine, in the sacral or genital area, the navel area, in the chest or heart area, the throat, brow and top of the head.  They are ours to tap into, to energize ourselves for our daily lives. Shall we explore these centers some more?

Let us build on our practice of yesterday.  Lets “prime the pump” so to speak by seeking the help of Evolved Souls, that they may lend their energetic support to us. This time let’s make the body as comfortable as possible, in a steady posture that we can keep  throughout, as we get ready to embark on our adventure. Isn’t it exciting?

Lets begin by focusing on one of the most powerful tools that we have at hand, the breath. As we breathe out,  let go, empty ourselves. As we breathe in embrace all the energy in the Universe. Lets do this cycle of emptying and filling until we feel an inner prompt to go deeper.

Now lets begin to listen intently to the breath as we continue to do the cycle. If we like we can use a mantra that we feel drawn to, like the soham mantra. “So” means the “universe” and “ham” means “I.” For the length of the inhaled breath repeat silently “Soooooooooooooo”, embracing the energy of the universe and for the duration of the out breath silently repeating “Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam” thinking about “I”. In fact soham means I and the Universe are one. Take a keen interest in the sound of the mantra as it harmonizes with the breath.

Now  let us focus on the base of the spine, traveling up through the sacral, navel centers and noticing how the experience changes at each center of intention. Continue the journey through the heart, throat, brow and crown centers. Lets be like tourists on vacation, enjoying every center, lingering where we are drawn, soaking up the experience. Marvellous, isn’t it?

Let us remember our personal intention and visit every centre powering it up as we travel upward.

Doesn’t the physical body feel better? Doesn’t the mind feel more focused, more organized? Overall isn’t there a feeling of more synchronization, greater uplift?

Have a blissful day everyone!

How to Intensify Intentions Pt 2

In yesterday’s blog we started talking about the possibility of varying the intensity of our intentions. Today I’d like to explore this topic some more. Once I realized that intensity can be varied then the natural question is can I add different qualities to that intensity and what will be their effect? You see, curiosity leads to extension of the practise.

This is how I do it. I start by observing myself as I send out waves of love and make a wish that a special person  feels uplifted today. I note my inner state before I send the wish, I notice that I experience subtle changes during the wish sending, and even after the wish there is a shift in my inner space. The shift is so subtle that if I am not watching for it I might miss it.

Now I do a second practise.  This time I relax my body first. Then I focus on my breath.    I breathe out letting go of all other thoughts, emptying myself of stress. I breathe in filling myself with the love and vitality of the Universe.

On an out breath I focus on the base of my spine. I ground myself in the source of divine energy. As I breathe in I bring the focus up along the spinal column following an energy pathway which runs parallel to the spinal column. Allowing my awareness to travel up through the sacral area, vitality at the navel,  the ocean of love in my heart center, upward through the expansive tranquility of the throat, the focal point between the eyebrows and to the crown of the head. I breathe out going back to the base center and repeat the cycle.

 

I am very interested in the process. Looking to see what happens in each area. I don’t need to do anything I only watch the process. The body already knows how to breath. I am the observer.

When I’m comfortable with the cycle and I’m at the base of the spine I introduce my wish to send love to a special someone. I observe the influence on the thought as I ground in the base. I see the thought taking on greater power and vitality. I witness how it becomes infused with love. I see how focus and attention strengthens the intention. I picture that special person seeing them uplifted by divine love. I do this practice until I feel fulfilled.

The experience of sending the thought in the second practise is very different, much more nuanced, deeper and really soul satisfying. Try it and see for yourself.

How to Refine the Power of Intention

This morning we are having light flurries of snow and it brought to mind the intensity of intentions. Let me explain some more. While at this moment we’re having light flurries, later this could intensify into heavy snow fall. It’s the same if we talk about rain. We could have a light drizzle or heavy showers.

Likewise the intensity of our intentions can also vary. We can increase the power of intention and will. We can consciously intensify desire. I find it very interesting that intensity is under our control or another way of putting it is that we have the power of intention.

My personality does not like to just hear intriguing ideas such as this, I want to know it, to experience it for myself. So I devised a little experiment for myself. I choose someone who I find it easy to work with. Then I send a conscious wave of love to them. Then I try to send a bigger wave. I look at the process that is happening in me, so that I can understand what it means to intensify my intention, and bring the process more into my awareness.

Shall I stop here? You try it!

If We Are to Go Beyond Time…

                       

If we are to go beyond time, then we need to go beyond change.

Begin to observe change in the inner space.

The breath begins, and the breath ends. That is change.

Thought begins, thought ends. That is change.

Emotion begins, emotion ends. That is change.

Intention begins, intention ends. That is change.

Just observe how change features in our consciousness.

Sri Vasudeva

All of Life is Energy

 

In the consciousness space, in that space of being, in that space of awareness; energy creates the drama that we call existence. All the thought forms, the emotional forms, the vital forms, even the physical forms, are energy at different levels of vibration, gross and subtle. So today, we look at the energy play in the consciousness. 

If we are a spark of the Infinite, if we carry in us the consciousness of immortality, if we have within us unlimited potential in being, if we have the power of intention to tap into energies from within us and manifest them on the outside, what does it say? It says, that we are in contact with an energy field in our infinite being, and we are able to manifest from that unlimited potential. All of what we are seeing, all of what we are projecting into the space,  everything is energy based. Everything that is created has a life period, and then ultimately it will be dissolved. It is time based, and it is also energy based.  Sri Vasudeva

A Moment of Grace

I posted this inner conversation on another blog platform. Just click on link to read