Turning challenging observations into adventures

Yesterday we talked about observing patterns in thoughts, mental and emotional disposition.

Suppose I reflect on my day and I notice that I am very upset about a particular interaction. Once I am unhappy in a situation then it is important for me to have a deeper look at it. To see it better I need to go into a more expansive space. How will I do that? Well I can bring a memory of time when I went into an exalted state. When I felt great flow. It may have been in a sitting meditation or it may be in an activity where I felt drawn into that “zone”. I have many memories to call on and I’m sure you do too. For some of us it may be looking at nature, or doing some creative activity like painting or sculpting, playing music, looking at the stars, for some it may be athletics, some of us it could be doing gardening or math (it’s true :)). Come on join in. Bring up a beautiful memory.

Now I’m in a more expansive state. Usually when I’m upset it involves me and another. So what was the gap in the interaction? What did I feel I could have been done better? What did I feel another person could have done better? Now for me it doesn’t matter whether I think I should have done better or the other person should have done better. My intention is to gather data on what could have been better, not on assigning blame. Thinking about my role and the role of the others, finding as many gaps as possible is extremely useful because I will use the data on the gaps to help me to come up with an action plan.

Here is an interesting part in the process. Even if initially I think the gap is in the other in my planning I look at it like a gap in myself. Was I looking for more understanding, more support? Did I feel that love and understand was not forthcoming? Was I expecting something from someone and that person didn’t fulfill my expectation?

Then I pull back some more and ask myself have I experienced something like this before. I bring back those memories and I gather data again. It’s important not to get lost in the memories. I tell myself keep the goal firmly in mind!

Then I gather up all the data and look for patterns and examine my processing of the data. Is it really true that I don’t get the support I need? I do get support from many sources. Could it be that I need to be more discriminating and go for support to those who can readily give it? When I am in a situation where I feel another “should be giving support” and it is not coming then perhaps that’s my cue that I am misreading this situation. Could it be that I am being called to fill a gap? I am the one to bring love, support and understanding? The universe is calling on me to give and this is the reason for my pattern of dissatisfaction? Well I will test out this possibility and then evaluate the situation again.

There may be other conclusions. It could be the universe showing me that it is time to develop myself in a particular area.

I love these data processing scenarios. The outcome is planning for new adventures. I hope you have a lot of fun today as you turn your observations into opportunities.


One Response to Turning challenging observations into adventures

  1. Veerendra Singh says:

    Namaskar all, I like reflecting on an interaction with another like this, but to do this effectively I think we also have to be in the moment and observe our selves before, during and after the upsetting event. So for me I like to see everything as meditation and I like to look for solutions without laying blame on another or myself. So when we interact with another it really calls for being in the moment and observing ourselves and assesing ourselves in “real time” without feeling bad about a mistake we may have made, because in sports as in life this could lead to a total disaster. When I do this I find I can get back into the “Zone” quicker and heighten my awareness. And when I revisit the past I can do with a more heightened awareness looking for solutions instead of laying blame and seeing where I probably could have improved and let it go until next time and when I do this I find that I am able to stay in the ‘zone’ longer and play the game better.

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