Experience of consciously seeking a guide

I remember when I consciously started looking for a spiritual guide. At this point I had read a lot of spiritual books and I had some wonderful spiritual people around me. I was learning to chant some verses from the exquisite Saundaryalahari: Wave of Beauty, Wave of Bliss by Shankaracharya. I felt I needed someone who lived from that space of freedom, who had experienced  these waves of bliss and beauty and who would be willing to show me the way, a Guru who would accept me as a disciple.

I was very particular about what this Guru would be like, living from that state of inner bliss was just the starting point! I wanted someone who lived fully in the modern world, I wanted a model of how I could navigate more wisely in my world. I wanted a personal relationship with this person because I wanted to see the teachings in action. I would not be satisfied with lectures.

I figured this person would be able to give me very little time and I was okay with that. Despite the short time I hoped we would be able to create a strong inner connection. I hoped this guide would observe me with an eagle eye; so s/he would be able to pick up the subtle messages revealing my inner world. I would need to trust enough, to be open enough, so that this assessment would be easier.

I wanted him to use that information to help me to make the changes I needed. I didn’t want to be overwhelmed with too much feedback. So this special master would be able to show me the way to make changes in a measured way.

I knew I was asking someone to take on a tough job because I had tried hard to make the changes myself and I wasn’t happy with the results. That meant for me, that sometimes this relationship might be rocky, as I expected I might rebel at seeing the weaknesses in myself and it might be hard to take responsibility for making the changes to remove those obstacles.  I would need to bring determination, courage and persistence because I had no doubt such a person would be acting out of great love. What greater love could there be than for a Guru to accept the responsibility of guiding a disciple? I thought it would take the greatest love. I felt sure there was someone capable of such a selfless loving role.

As I grew in understanding of what I was asking from this Guru, my thoughts turned to what I would be willing to contribute to such a relationship. I’ll share that tomorrow.


3 Responses to Experience of consciously seeking a guide

  1. Uma says:

    You were certainly very clear with your universe about what you wanted -great inspiration. Thanks love Uma

  2. Henk says:


    I’m always struck by your determination, Madhavi. Very inspiring to me, always showing that I can take a step further. Thank you.

    All my love, Henk

  3. Gauri says:

    Thanks for sharing this personal experience. I look forward to tomorrow’s posting. I never knew you had such specific thoughts about the guide you wanted to have. Fascinating! For me the most inspiring and powerful posstings are the ones where you share your (most) personal experiences with us. Thanks, xxx Gauri

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